Felix Masquerade

I dreamed of super-powers to be like the mutant X-Men, just as I had dreamed about being like the other boys in school.  I didn’t understand why I had to feel alienated and alone from everyone in my school and home; why couldn’t what made me different be celebrated the way athleticism and super-powers were? The character, Felix, I created was originally purely escapism, a way to join my favorite mutants as I read their new issues.   Over time he developed as I grew, becoming a character that I armored myself with in new and boundary-pushing situations.

The original power I grafted onto Felix were my wish fulfillment, liberating me from the conflicts I had with homosexuality’s shame.  Originally, I gave Felix shapeshifting abilities because I’d be able to become anyone other than myself.  With shapeshifting, I’d reflect the popular students throughout middle and most of high school, avoiding the lonely and isolation prophesized by television and movies.  Changing my appearance, Felix could literally become or match anyone’s desire, gaining the perfection that I had desired.  Being able to shapeshift I’d have more tools at my disposal to make my goals and fantasies match my outside.

Felix was eventually given telepathy as I struggled to juggle the various facades I had created to navigate interactions.  Telepathy ensured that the forms I took would be ideal for whom I was interacting with, removing the guess work about how to be part of the group.  I’d know exactly what to say, be prepared for what others would say, and always have a funny quip to keep grace.  Having the correct words, I’d be able to give the illusion that I was known without having to go through the painful experience of not exposing my queerness.

As I began to fully explore what differentiated me from others, I added the final super-power: teleportation.  Felix would be able to truly escape any situation that was uncomfortable; I’d be free to be away from ticky-tacky suburbia and be where the different, foreign, and unique are celebrated –  New York City, home to many of Marvel’s superheroes and faraway from the mundane.  By this time Felix stopped becoming escapism and became the armor for every day, designed to masquerade as popular and fleeting.  Felix had become the mysterious character whose silent smile spoke, so that I didn’t have to expose myself to isolation and alienation.

Lamprocapnos

Lamprocapnos [Bleeding Heart Flower] 03“Pele’s Boys”

From the volcano top

I hear dreams like thunder

Exciting the liquid chaos deeply in me

Matching my heartbeat

Your smile becomes my sun

When I suck your tongue

For lava glistens in your eyes

 

Underneath your rain

Treble and strings make melody

Bass and horns make flowers bloom

Tickling every nerve of me

Creating tiny sparks

Imitating missing persons –

Oh, how I love those little Sparks!

They massage my every muscle

Destroying or giving me wings?

 

Where’s the new rain?  Where’s the new rain?

 

“Poppy Garden”

I lived in a common poppy garden

But when I ran from that courtyard

I tore down the walls around

The razor I keep in my mind

Making my brain polluted with torrents –

I’m stupid I’m tragic I’m defenseless

I’m ashamed at my lack of pain

 

In honest moments I can’t lie,

You had brought out what I thought was the best of me,

But when I’m left to dream alone for a thousand nights

Is when havoc contrives tears at dawn,

Mixing with critical thoughts of my own –

(So run now)

I am deconstructed glass I am too frozen for love,

I am characteristics unbecoming

I am the thorn in your side –

I clip my wings to be free

Common Disaster

Common Disaster (Earphones)Jeremy Schwach was born in 2029 in the sunny multicultural Revenants, an only child.  His father, a member of the Praetorian Guard turned Masonric Corp engineer, wanted a better life for the family so he moved the family up the Messipi River to the very poor Port Town, in 2035; because Mid-Atlantic and Appalachian Mountain tectonic plate convergent zones caused subduction impossible to mitigate, or, in some cases, even to live with.  Sea levels rose covering the Carolinas to the eastern city-states and inland to I-95.  The east coast water is completely toxic with unknown quantities of sewage, fuel, and industrial chemicals, which have killed all sea life; vandals have lit the surface slicks on fire; Boston burned until 2016.  Every coastal city-state suffered losses in the eighty to ninety percent range.  The loss of 15% of its territory to the ocean, the loss of some of the most populated, symbolic, and valuable coastal city-states reduced the NAU to a loose collection of anarchist city-states.  The government of the NAU relocated to Arapahoe, becoming buildings full of ineffective men and women, lacking a treasury, an organized military, a reliable communications system. Continue reading “Common Disaster”

The Lone Vagabond

The Lone VagabondI stood, dressed in a vintage 50/50 Merc-Tile shirt and Adidas track pants, in front of my leather lined full length mirror, holding both outfits critiquing for all flaws or compliments; examining and modifying for the best narrative.  The first was J. Crew dark jeans, blue Gant Rugger cardigan, denim grey colored shirt by Band of Brothers, and Ralph Lauren shoes.  The second outfit was all Sean John: a brown leather racing jacket, black crewneck sweater, dark vintage wash jeans, and white shelltop shoes.

It had been two years since Ian Jimenez; four years since ending with Jeremy Schwach.  I believed they were different, but they weren’t.  Both smiled to confuse, while I talked; they were egocentric, but I thought myself unique.  They were cowards asking opinions like collecting pebbles, demanding emotional risks from others.  I expected others to provide answers I was not willing to discover; I read greedily choosing pieces of others’ ideas to get through situations with a minimal guilt.  To help with this delusion conversations and gestures were considered foreign languages to be deciphered.  I had dated but remained perpetually single, only selecting those that were unavailable either emotionally, physically, or by lifestyle; there was no risk of fault or blame when everything went wrong; I only wanted the appearance of trying, that way people felt sympathy.  “Dating is difficult,” they’d say and stop asking questions, so I could stay safe by not including anything that wasn’t previously established.

Continue reading “The Lone Vagabond”

Lamprocapnos

Lamprocapnos [Bleeding Heart Flower] 02

“Icy Cold”

Shut the lights off

Put the candles on

Turn the 808 up

 

I ride up high on the beat

Like a bike with no seat

Working my hips

I ride deep

With the beat

Like a bike,

With no seat

I’m an icy cold freak

 

“I’m Not Happy That I’m Not Safe With You”

With philosophical morals as strong as a sea fog,

You laid barbed wire around my circular orbit;

And now I’m at the point

When I look in another’s eyes

All I can say is,

You don’t have to stay until morning

 

Oh, Solace, it’s true:

You still look pretty counting my rosary of addictive solutions

Leaving sadness as the only lover to invade my demeanor.

 

I’m not happy that I’m not safe with you.

 

“Loneliness”

As the flower said to the blowing wind:

“I’ll never easily give up my mystery.”

As the hilltop said toe the rising morning:

“Never let our unknowing passion ignite.”

As the winter said to the blistering sun:

“From time to time love me slowly.”

 

A Vagabond’s Ways

A Vagabond's Ways            Pentapolis of the Valley’s number one vagabond dancehall is Etica, populated by the alienated, underweb-hackers, punks and clubbers equally.

The exterior of Etica is an uncomplicated warehouse, like any in Noex along Wuthering Canal.  The area began as an extension of Parkfront, which had been a vacation spot until it was overtaken by the 1899 formation of Landing Alley, the Valley’s main shopping district.

Underneath the dancehall are large drainages, returning water from the end of the alley-canals.  The mini-waterfalls were loud enough to be heard on the other side of the dancehall, where the line formed at the door of the once abandoned building.  It was originally constructed between 1843 and 1846, acting as a distribution for dry goods, and turned into a taxi depot in the 1930s.  It remained a depot until it was gutted by a fire in the 1960s.  Afterwards, the space was occupied by a seafood restaurant, a movie theatre, a dance school, and a bagel shoppe before being foreclosed during the recession of 2011.  Artistes and hackers made the warehouse their home and park during the years the building was foreclosed.  The hackers decorated the main floor with neon graffiti espousing integration with the underweb. In 2014 the squatter groups worked together to collect technology, drugs, and experiences to create a 24/7/365 model of communal vagabond culture.  The two social groups hybridized into a new caste of vagabonds, state identified as citizens lacking education, employment, or training – CLEET. They see the future as currency, founded in a belief in amalgamation leads to a better whole. Vagabonds believe the future belongs to them, that they do not have to adhere to a median standard life. Vagabonds spread their ideology by utilizing The Stream, further cultivating a sub-culture and style that capitalized in their outsider status. Then in 2043 FETCH magazine did a holiograph expose, “Harbingers of the Future,” on the original CLEET graffiti, bringing to attention of a capitalist who saw its appeal as a vagabond dancehall, a utopia of meaningful fun.

[For The Compete Short Story Click the PDF Below]

(2054) Vagabond’s Ways, A

 

Lamprocapnos

Lamprocapnos [Bleeding Heart Flower] 01“@Love”

I think about you sitting haphazardly with legs opened

Hat covering face

Leaning back and fro

Deep in thought cross trainers come untied

You move me –

To bleed like a waterfall

In your reach

I know an existence of myself

A common disaster

 

“Cellularly Alone”

With a friction space between my arms,

I’m falling prey to gravitons of junkie jocks

And cutting cliques that navigate my orbit

I’m sneaking into some strange cracks;

I want to be on my own time

 

“Everything Smells Like Tension”

Even on a good day no one wants to be alone;

Bitter and cold

 

Love with one is too few

Love with none is too many

Everything smells like tension

 

I’m a coward wanting love, thinking I’m something special;

Adorning my self’s mass-disaster in diamond quips

CHARACTER: Dorian Iacchus p3

Dorian Iacchus Bio P3      With the success of the first Huxian collection, Dorian found further success with an academic critique and over-view about C.R. Kiernan in 2057.  That same year he signed a second contract with Tileal Publishing for more Babalon’s War collections.  Dorian found it difficult to begin further fiction writing, and turned to additional article and essay writings.  To distract himself, early the following year Dorian left for Huxia to collect inspiration and to begin work on a second coffee book he had decided to curate.

            In Huxia, and its island territories, Dorian became interested in the neo-esoteric movement, Rejenys, which had gained momentum following the Man from Megalith’s arrival.  Dorian detailed his conversion to the growing fringe religion through a series of bi-weekly essays for Ego’s Own, which renewed his fictional inspiration.

            Upon returning home Dorian was met with a large protest of Malthusians, who decried his conversion to Rejenys.  As a reaction to his persecution and malignment, Dorian’s bi-weekly essays began dangerously critiquing the Malthusian based governing laws.  While Dorian’s essays and articles had brought political inquiry to his citizenship, his openly espousing an opposing religious doctrine brought Dorian harassment from The Watch, the Malthusian Commission’ public security force.  To escape government surveillance Dorian took sanctuary in the nearest Holy Garden, The Magnolia Orchard.

CHARACTER: Dorian Iacchus

b6dwj5wcaaa-7asDORIAN IACCHUS

Occupation: Writer, Junior Editor

5’6”

115lbs

Hair: Cedar

Eyes: Blue

 

Dorian Iacchus was born in the City of Flowers to creative parents.  His father was an architect who owned the third largest architecture firm; his mother was a classically trained dancer and teacher.  Dorian spent his childhood and early life in Vargaria and Huxia, where his parents converted to Anthrosophiscal Society.  At 17 he began working as an artist’s model.  While attending Aerynd University he appeared in final project student films.  At the Waterfront Annex’s graduating show Dorian Iacchus’ critical short story cycle, Snow, yielded a publishing contract with Tilael Publishing.

Rather than go home after graduation, Dorian moved into the Langham building, amongst vagabonds, ecchi, socialists, and anarchists who encouraged playing with sexuality and sexual roles.

In 2053 Dorian met Edna Millay, editor-in-chief of e-periodical Ego’s Own, at philo-café Freethought, who introduced him to a circle of writers and thinkers; often times meeting at dancehall, occupying a table all evening.  As a free-lancer for Ego’s Own, Dorian turned down assignments, earning a reputation for being difficult.  Yet, for what was accept he received notoriety, earning a junior editorial position.  There he edited, become friends with, and in some cases lover to leading literary and artistic figures

Disappearing Acts

art-by-ramon-k-perez-2            Pentapolis of the Valley thrust upward, a giant needle in the landscape seeming inspired by the ancient secrets of the Acadian Mountains to the east and west.  Its buildings looked thrown together, chance addresses and materials amassed in one place and called a city; a shame that the city hadn’t been more planned out in its growth; there were some provisions for modernity.  Several choice main roads that formed a grid across the city were paved over for car usage, the rest remained cobblestone; a monstrous ribcage across the city.  The most drastic changes to architecture ended about a century and a half ago, back with the Great Depression’s onslaught.

It was originally founded in November 8, 1803, on a one-hundred-acre tract of land between the Anapos River and MacLir River, in the Acadian Mountains.  The site was chosen because of three cataracts on the left half of the Anapos River, offering great potential for water power.  As well they could utilize the Anapos and MacLir River, and built Wuthering Canal to connect the two rivers – preparing to build a shipping titan.  In 1817, the Masonric brothers, of Masonric Corps., and other landowners joined with the Hundred Acre Tract to form the Hamlet of Gamoyra.  Also in 1823, the Wuthering Canal between Anapos River and MacLir River was completed, and the North Exchange linking east to the Atlantic Ocean was opened.  By 1830, Sidume population was 9,200 and in 1834, it was re-chartered as a city.

Read the rest of the story by clicking the PDF link below.

2054-disappearing-acts