I have been reconstructing the found family I had built for myself, which I unceremoniously tore apart. I began with Heather, by reconnecting with her in recent months. I had met Heather through my first boyfriend, Ben; she is his ex-sister-in-law. When I broke-up with Ben, and other boyfriends, Heather remained a constant. Often, she was a great deal more pleasurable to be around than who I was dating.
Heather is a hardcore reader and deeply empathic. She is the type of friend that is always needed – a person who completely accepts another person as they are. She’s the rare person that shares what she has, and the even rarer person who gladly gives up what she must to improve another’s standing. Heather allows people to drop their masks and be their authentic selves. In the instance of me, I found a person who shared my proclivities and smart enough to grasp references &allusions without explanation. Heather keeps friends to her detriment – even if the friendship is one-sided or toxic.
It has been just over seven years since Heather and I had seen each other. The fault in our disconnection is with me. It was a dark time, and could no longer deal with people around me, so I pushed every support away from myself. I was convinced I had to do everything alone. A family never does anything alone.