Verve (3/37-3/31)

Things have been going so swimmingly that I feel that my seat at the table is earned.  Unfortunately, everything outside my goals feels foreign to me, as if I’m faking everything until I can be home and secluded.  The real word doesn’t hurt but it increasingly feels like something I’m not a part of.  The only things that matter to me are where I belong, not in an office or classroom.  I believe if it was an artistic endeavor or working towards bliss I would feel much more in-tune with day-to-day activities, there wouldn’t be a dissonance between how I perceive the world, how I want the world, and the way the world truly is.  Yes, social justice and equity is important, but instead what I am referring to is the aesthetics of the world.  I am much more comfortable going through life seeing the fantastical and the speculative.  For example, when I am walking to the store and it is twilight and the lights are just turning on, and there is a warmth as the sky turns purple with twinkling stars.  To see that as less than a magical experience, and the opportunities that arise, saddens me and removes me from my neighbors.


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